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10 Things-To-Do For An Indian Married Woman Given By ‘The Confused Husband’

  • JWB Post
  •  September 19, 2015

 

Well, I am a big fan of to-do lists and resolutions. Every year, I come up with a bag full of new-year resolutions. (Although by midnight when I am completely drunk at some party, I have broken almost half of them.) That is why, I was quite curious when I found the printout of a to-do list in my wife Priyal’s wardrobe. (As usual, was going through her stuff to find out where she had hidden my bottle of wiski.)

25 things every woman should do by 25! The name of the list made me even more curious. I wonder how Priyal lays her hands on such articles on the internet! After the martial arts episode, I try my best to not get on the bad side of Priyal, but since she was not at home at the moment, I decided to read the list.

What…is this??? Is this a list of things-to-do or lessons about how to enter into the territory of a man? Seriously, if women handle finances, then what will happen to their husbands’ pockets? (I shudder at the thought of seeing my hard-earned money being turned into designer kurtis) So bad! At least I would spend them in a fair game of gambling instead of some over-expensive dress.

The contents of the rest of the list scared me even more. From naming a signature drink to the ability of critical thinking, I was terrified by almost all of them. The only thing that I was okay with was spending a whole day without complaining. Yes it would be good to see Priyal follow that.

At the end of it, I decided to make my own list of the 10 things that an Indian woman should or well… Shouldn’t do! Have hidden the list inside the pocket of an old shirt.  See, I don’t want to give Priyal an excuse to test her karate skills.

  1. Stop spying on their husbands – Boy I almost had a heart attack when Priyal had caught me checking out the pictures of models dressed in lingerie. (Btw, how is lingerie pronounced?)
  1. Ask less questions – Ah another point so close to my heart. Where have you been? What were you doing? …and the list goes on and on.
  1. No karate at home – Ever since my house has become a martial art training centre for women, I live in fear of being mistaken for a punchbag!
  1. Money matters – Ladies, please think about your poor husbands before buying a bag for two thousand and calling it a bargain deal!
  1. Be easy going – Everyday I have to hear how messy a person I am. Seriously, what is wrong with leaving your socks scattered on the bed? Ok, I accept that they are a bit smelly but still…

 

  1. Visit your parents regularly- For me, Independence Day is not on 15th August but the day when Priyal decides to go to visit her parents.

 

  1. Don’t use logic- Every now and then when we argue, Priyal invariably uses logic, to which I don’t have any answer. Seriously, women should stop using logic.

 

  1. What’s with all the business talk? – The other day Priyal was telling me about the type of mutual funds that I should invest in. What if she had a degree in business and was right? (I secretly listened to her advice and made a good profit.) But still, women and finances don’t go together.

 

  1. The cricket question – Why do Priyal decides to talk when a cricket match is reaching its climax?

 

  1. Fashion factor- Okay, who cares if the curtains are white or off-white…

 

After completing the list, I was so happy that I even forwarded the list to our group of suffering husbands on Whatsapp. And whoa! What a response! All other friends of mine also started giving their own suggestions and within no time, the group got 200 messages. I was happy that at least for the first time, I had beaten Priyal in her own game (without her knowing, of course).

A week later…

“Happy Independence Day my dear husband!”

“What? 15th August was a month ago. Has Priyal gone mad??”

“What are you talking about Priyal?”

“I am going to visit my parents. You call this freedom, don’t you?”

“Uh oh… I don’t like the direction this conversation is heading towards.”

“Umm… Priyal, I don’t understand what you are talking about.”

“Oh really? Should I use logic to make you understand? But wait, you don’t like logic, right?”

My god! How the hell did she find out about my list?

Ahhh… It was me who had carelessly sent the shirt for laundry. They must have found the list and given it to my dear wifey.

3diana-1

Why do I have to be so messy?! Wait, am I not contradicting myself now?

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