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  • She Says

Check if you are an Achievement Junkie. Apparently, we are!

  • JWB Post
  •  May 14, 2015

 

Christine Arylo is a best-selling author & founder of the international self-love movement. Her newest book is ‘Reform Your Inner Mean Girl: 7 Steps to Stop Bullying Yourself & Start Loving Yourself’. 

In her book and this blog she talks about one complication many ambitious women develop. The reasons can vary: stress of the competition in a gender-biased society, race between women themselves that was flagged off under the banner of empowerment, a desire to prove yourself to others, who hardly care, if to be honest – whatever the reason is, but this phenomenon takes a serious toll on women’s emotional health and life overall.

Christine calls it ‘Achievement Junkie’ syndrome. Maybe you are one too? Here are a few of the signs Christine lists that you are part of this club. Do you:

  1. Set really high goals for yourself and keep moving the bar higher — so just as you are about to reach a goal, you flip the bar higher, and feel like you failed or didn’t hit your mark?
  2. Think you have to push and work hard to make stuff happen — so you over work and over effort?
  3. Work a lot or are always busy, and have a hard time resting and relaxing — rest sounds good but it doesn’t feel very productive?
  4. Often feel like you have not gotten ‘there’ yet — and then pressure yourself to be further ahead?
  5. Have a hard time celebrating or feeling all you have accomplished —for more than a few hours anyway?
  6. Achieve one thing — a promotion, more money, a degree, a milestone — and immediately go on to the next thing — You are always pursuing something?
  7. Feel dissatisfied — you live like a marathon runner who just keeps running marathon after marathon, never quite reaching a finish line where you can finally declare victory?
  8. Focus a lot on the future — you focus on things you haven’t yet achieved or accomplished, instead of organically growing and tending what you’ve already birthed?

To say shortly, ‘Achievement Junkies’ see only what they haven’t done, unable to acknowledge and feel what they have accomplished. So they always feel pressured to do more, accomplish more, move onto the next goal. Many in JWB team have recognized themselves in this mirror reflection. So, Christine recommends few efficient ways to recover:

1. Force yourself to talk about the things you had already done until you could feel them in your bones.

2. Force to slow down, take space for yourself and revel in your achievements, forbidden to climb the next mountain until you were replenished and rested.

3. Put yourself on strict orders to do things only for sheer joy – to do things for pleasure that were not in any way productive (can you imagine just doing things for fun!)

4. Learn to love just sitting still, taking in the view from the mountain top, and learn to move more mindfully before you just set out to conquer the next mountain (making you wiser and ultimately more effective.)

5. Learn to love the process and journey to reaching a goal, instead of only seeing and pushing to the goal and so missing the ride.

Christine emphasizes: “Don’t get me wrong. I love being an achiever. It’s the junkie part that I now choose to live without.”

She urges us to think on these lines:

I’d much rather be patient with myself vs. pressure myself.

I’d much rather be a replenished receiver than a relentless driver.

Christine says that deep inside, in the places we’d rather not look, there are parts of ourselves that we are deathly afraid to deal with – so we keep ourselves busy doing, working and focusing on new goals instead. These parts left untended, subconsciously make you believe – mistakenly – that if you stop pushing yourself to achieve more, if you stop working so hard, you will become a slacker and fall behind.

Which of course is impossible. Unless you burn yourself out completely, and you simply cannot achieve anymore – it is impossible for you to become a slacker. Once an achiever, always an achiever, but not always a junkie or addict.

Christine admits that one of the hardest and most profound paths to her freedom was having to learn the why behind why drove myself so hard.

We are sure that knowing — and trusting — that you don’t have to push yourself so hard, that you just naturally will achieve and excel without exhausting yourself, will make you happier, healthier and more whole.

Source.

 

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