Five Tips For Dating A Single Parent
- JWB Post
- October 5, 2015
Erin Khar writes Ravishly.com as how can single parents can nail dating and finding the right partner. She writes, “I discovered that many men were unsure of how to proceed with a single mom. The uninitiated didn’t know how to act, what to say, when to meet, etc. And, I didn’t know what to tell them. The vast majority of my friends were childless. I learned, sometimes the hard way, about what works and doesn’t work when dating with a child. I also learned a lot from my husband, who dated me, the single parent, for three years before we got married.”
Check out these easy tips and make them your anthem:
1. You Are Not The New Best Friend. The most common mistake people meet when meeting their new sweetheart’s child is by acting like a big goofy kid, running, crazy, screaming, “HEY, KID, LIKE ME! I’M SO MUCH FUN!” No. Although they may love it at first, kids ultimately want adults to provide the boundaries that they don’t yet have. It’s fine to play, have fun, and be light, but don’t go jumping off the roof or having a water balloon fight in your date’s apartment.
2. Insta-Parents Need Not Apply. While your partner’s kid doesn’t need a best friend, that kid also doesn’t need an insta-parent. Yes, be an adult, but you don’t need to jump into the role of mom or dad just yet. First of all, the other parent may actually be in the picture in a very real way. If they aren’t, that kid doesn’t need a stranger suddenly playing that role. There seems to be a misconception out there that all single parents are looking for a new mommy or daddy for their kids. They’re not. Trust me, they’re not. Yes, if this relationship goes somewhere, you may be a parent to that kid some day, but cool your jets for now.
3. Keep Your Parenting Tips To Yourself, Please. While we’re on the whole parenting subject, please do not regale your boyfriend or girlfriend with the loads of parenting advice you have based on not having a child yourself. Do I really need to explain this one? Thank you.
4. Meeting The Plus-One Doesn’t Have To Be Such A Big Deal. You might be freaking out about meeting the kid. My son met many of my friends when I was a single mom, men and women, 99% of whom I was not dating. He didn’t know the difference until the time was right for him to know there was a difference. So calm down, don’t make a big deal about it. If this relationship fizzles out, they probably won’t even remember meeting you.
5. Moving In: Don’t Do The Crime If You Can’t Do the Time. Don’t move in together unless you are planning on getting married/having a domestic partnership/staying in it for the long haul. Breaking up after living together is hard enough, don’t make it doubly hard by adding in the feelings of a little one, who will be disappointed if you’re there one day and gone the next.