How to Get Your Husband to Help out Around the House?
- JWB Post
- October 18, 2014
This is Diwali week and every household is getting a makeover. This article is not about some quick tips in cleaning the home but about getting a good helper. So, how to ask your man to be a little humble & share the chores with you at the time when work load is more than ever.
In most of the cases, we see our mothers or wives cleaning the complete home. Sometimes a maid helps her, but only sometimes. We cannot justify this by saying, men are working and housewives are tend to do the cleaning, even the working moms do the chores with same sincerity making home their ‘second shift’. So why this gender gap?
Where at one place we talk about empowering them, our intentional/unintentional discrimination against them at home is the proof we are not doing anything towards empowerment. Women spend a greater number of hours doing household duties along with taking care of the family. This, definitely, decreases the number of hours for their extra work at the office and leisure.
To achieve greater balance and integrity, men in the home (at least husbands & sons) need to modify their time toward housework and other family activities. On a different note, by doing such activities together, a husband and wife can gain brownie points by strengthening their connection. If you are a newlywed, this Diwali you can thoughtfully plan the work division. If your spouse, accidentally, doesn’t know about gender equality in household labor, this is a great chance! Ask him politely if he would love to spend some more time with you and help clean your newly established home.
- You can give him small tasks that would interest him – like cleaning his car and parking area (garage) and trashing the garbage.
- Gardening – This can be done together with evening tea.
- Buying cleaning brooms and cleaners while returning from work. Making him feel that he has bought the items to help you, can give him a greater sense of responsibility.
- Ask for help. Unless you ask, he might not know that you need help, and you may never know how much more he can contribute. After a fun day and nice dinner, before sleeping bring your list of works and ask him politely to help you. Take his suggestion and advice on how to do each task quickly and efficiently. You can also chuck out things he considers not too important.
- Take care of not using sentences like ‘I am the only one doing everything’, ‘I have so much to do’. Rather tell him that his contributions will help maintain your energy so that you can give more time to him, the kids or in-laws.
- Be sure of appreciating his contribution. Men need words of love which act as magic in your relationship. Don’t talk about how imperfectly he has done the work but praise his efforts.
Both husband and wife contribute to the harmony of the home so if he is lacking this understanding, help him acknowledge it. This Diwali, apart from a sparkling home, we wish you a more than ever beautiful marital life.