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‘I Flat-Out Refuse To Marry Anyone Unless These Are Our Vows’

  • JWB Post
  •  July 9, 2015

Marrying you is not the end of my liberty; it’s the beginning of it.

You’re the person I want to dive headfirst into life with. When I go out on the weekends, it is you I want shutting down the club with me. When I plan an adventure it is you I want holding the map. When I speculate about the future, I want to see you in every outlandish fantasy I plan for myself. You’re the person I want to rant excitedly to over happy hour drinks. You’re the person I want to dance around the house with in my underwear with. You’re the person who makes the whole world feel wide-open to me and I want to take advantage of that. I want to plunge into the future with you – because it looks bigger and brighter by your side than I ever could have imagined.

“Something about you inspires me to be bigger, brighter, bolder than I ever knew that I could become. And I hope that I inspire you, too.”

I don’t want to settle down with you. I want to take off with you – to far-away countries, foreign landscapes, gems and corners of the world that would only have looked half as amazing without you by my side. When I strap on a backpack and head to the airport, I want you to be boarding that plane with me. You’re the person I want to get lost with, set up camp with, stumble through dark streets with at 5a.m. with after a long, rambunctious night in a city that we can’t pronounce the name of. When I get home and have tale after ridiculous tale to recite to my friends, you’re the one I want there to back up my claims. You’re the person I want to come home to and the person I want to escape with. I want you on every adventure I take for the rest of my life. I want to do everything on earth with you.

I don’t want to be the person you always agree with. I want to be the person you challenge – to change, to grow, to expand in ways that wouldn’t have ever occurred to me before I met you. I want heated debates at 3am. I want stark disagreements when I’m acting out of line. I want passionate arguments about the way we’re living because your fire fuels mine and I never want that spark to die out. I want to be someone you aren’t afraid to challenge because sometimes I need that extra push. And you can bet your ass that I’ll push you right back.

I don’t want to let myself go now that I have you – I want to build myself up alongside you. Something about you inspires me to be bigger, brighter, bolder than I ever knew that I could become. And I hope that I inspire you, too. That together we can encourage one another to grow into the fullest, strongest, fiercest versions of each other. That ten years from now we will be prouder than ever to be standing beside one another and that twenty years later we’ll be even prouder still. I hope you’re not expecting to grow stagnant in love because something about you makes me feel like my best self on steroids and I do not plan to let that feeling die.

If there’s anything I am not worried about, it’s us falling apart. The truth is I never fell in love with you anyway; I walked into love – surely, deliberately and without a backwards glance. I chose you from the first day I met you and baby I promise to keep choosing you. Through every fight, I’ll choose you. Through every temptation, I’ll choose you. Through every twist and bump in the road that threatens to tear us apart I will choose you with the ferocious certainty I’ve felt since the first time I ever laid eyes on you. I’m not worried about falling out of love with you baby, because I never fell in. Loving you was a waking, conscious choice and it’s one that I’m going to keep making until the day my heart stops beating.

Now let’s stop with these frivolous vows – there’s a party to have! We have gifts to tear open and champagne to chug and a whirlwind honeymoon to go embark on. This whole marriage thing is old and tired but we most certainly are not. After all, you’re only young and wild once. And baby, our wildest days are just beginning.

Heidi Priebe 

This article was first published in Thought Catalog.

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