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Komal Panwar

Blogger & Singer

JWB Team Gos-sipping Mischief with College Girls at Le Petit Café, The Lalit!

  • JWB Post
  •  October 1, 2015

 

We at Jaipur Women Blog celebrated International Coffee Day in the neatest possible way! So, you know how the JWB team is always racking its brain to think of crazy new activities to do?

This time we collected together a bunch of college girls at Le Petit Café, The Lalit, (PS – YUMMY!), to sit and have some Gos-sips! Confused? Well, so this concept of “Gos-sips”, is basically girls sitting around a table sipping coffee, chitchatting about…no, not boys, not shopping either… keep guessing… no, not Game of Thrones, dude.

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Well, we were there to BREAK the stereotype! Together with five wonderful girls from IIIM, JWB talked about social issues, feminism, and majorly intellectual stuff. Because that’s how we roll!

So okay, here’s what it looked like. Seated around a table with chairs having pouty cushions sat Akanksha, Shubhangi, Rupali, Neha and Sonali in disciplined college uniforms. They were nervous at first, but soon they began to open up. I introduced myself to them. Little did I know that by the end of this conversation I would entirely lose track of time, because those talks were so much better than what girls are famous for.

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Let the discussion begin!

Sundar Pichai, the CEO of Google said that India is the fastest growing start-up nation. The role of women here lies where, and what are the kinds of opportunities they have when it comes to start-ups?

AkankshaMy mother has always supported and encouraged me to follow my dreams. Sometimes I ask her that there’s something missing in her, and she has everything, a good family, well taught children, basically everything she needs, so what is it that disturbs her? To which she said that she had always wanted to be an English teacher. It was her dream. If not a teacher, at least fluent with the English language…

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MeSo, what’s stopping her?

AkankshaShe’s doing it now, she’s learning it, in a way she’s finally following her dreams.

Rupali My aunt is an entrepreneur and everything is amazing with her, but her family somewhat remains disappointed. What I mean is that it is very difficult for a woman to keep everyone happy, because they are not Gods! Even God cannot keep everyone happy. So, yes women have a lot of opportunities when it comes to start-ups, just as many as men have, but it is important for men and women alike to understand what it means for a woman to work. They cannot rely upon her entirely to manage the household and office at the same time. And she can’t do much without support. So it all boils down to that.

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They were warmed up fairly well for the further discussion. And suddenly we all shifted our focus because plates were being set. So I think we didn’t let each other notice but we were all drooling over the aroma already!

I’m pretty sure you’re all familiar with the case of Jasleen Kaur and Sarabjeet Singh. Why are girls misusing this power? False accusations and false rape cases are becoming a trend and will soon create the situation of “The boy who cried wolf” for the women, and then the entire women community will be blamed!

Shubhangi (I named her the funny girl, you’ll know why!)Can you please repeat the question, ma’am?

*laughs and giggles* I’m not proud of it, but from a blogger, I was suddenly the teacher. Needless to say, I repeated the question, this time slowly.

ShubhangiBoys are good at dadagiri (bullying). They say you’ve gotta do what we’re saying. So some girls also join the troop. They feel insulted by boys, or think they’re not listening to them, they use the weapon of tears, which acts as a nuclear bomb! The mentality is such that only men are blamed when any mishap occurs.

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Akanksha Some girls are misusing the power…

RupaliOkay, so I travel in buses, and mostly alone. A couple of times accidentally men touched me, and with these things we know what is accidental and what is not. Some girls make an issue, because they can. They know they will not be blamed. Some of these are men haters; others want to show higher authority over them.

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Rupali The solution is for everyone to be aware of their surroundings. Because we can’t stop the production of people who grow up with wrong mindsets! Teaching about equal rights from the beginning, instigating moral habits since the beginning are unavoidable to have a better world.

We were served with Chilli Cheese Toast and French Fries first; writing about it makes me hungry again! The aroma was trying hard to take our minds off the conversation.

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Okay, so what do you all think of women in career fields which are male-oriented? People say “it’s not for girls”. For example, we will hardly ever find girls in the IT industry. Do stereotypes have any role to play here?

AkankshaStereotypes exist of course. So *points at Rupali* since she wears spectacles, people will assume that she is a nerd. Guys can’t cook, but then look how they make the best chefs.

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RupaliMy brother is a better cook than I am. *jokingly* Women are interested in multitasking! It’s so tough for them to sit in front of their computers! Men, if they sit in front of a computer, they look at it as their lifeline. They know they’ve got to do it. They are dedicated to one task at a time!

Shubhangi I feel that men have more stamina to work.

Akanksha I think I disagree there. Men only work, women also handle their homes. And talking about IT, we haven’t reached that level yet where you’ll find women walking around in the industry. But we are getting there. Women are exploring all fields and are not restricted to gender based jobs.

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MePeople say that girls are advantaged because they are girls! They get higher up on the ladder because they are girls.

Rupali It is true, girls are advantaged to a certain level. But then again we cannot categorize. There are all kinds of individuals. Some girls take advantages, and some girls feel that there shouldn’t be any advantages because we are all equal.

Sonali Some girls use their brains in a way to take advantages only. They are sort of shrewd.

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RupaliOld women should get those seats reserved for girls. But I’ve seen a lot of times how they don’t get those seats, in fact, younger girls take those seats when they are capable of standing. It’s so unfair!

Neha We should know when to use the advantages. Women are not weak! Not at all! We are very different physically from men, and maybe a little weak physically, but that’s all.

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Say hello to The Lalit Signature Pizza with sun dried tomatoes, caramelized onions, fresh rocket leaves and *slurp* goat cheese! We ate, gos-sipped and waited for new edibles.

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I asked them where their shiny neon ties were. Since they are new to college, as a “personality improvement” tip they were asked to wear special neon ties by their seniors. Whacky!

Some of them giggled, and said that they took it off.

Ahem. So this next topic might be very interesting for everyone! When two women are at the same stage they tend to have a competition. They don’t realize when they cross the line between professional and personal competition. With men, the line is pretty clear. Agreed?

Shubhangi (wobbly nodding her head)Ma’am it’s in a human nature, and maybe men have a clearer heart *laughs*

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AkankshaWhen the bride steps into the house, her mother in law will automatically go crazy. No matter how good a woman she is, she’ll start treating her son’s love as a competition. For example, in our class it happens that if one girl scores well, all the boys will catch her attention…

Interrupted by nods and giggles

…and the others just cannot handle it! I’m not blaming one person in particular. Even I’m one of them! It happens! And oh so frequently!

MeSo how can we avoid this, girls?

Shubhangi (the funny one)It’s impossible. I don’t think we can do it!

NehaI think men understand each other.

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Rupali In the corporate culture women don’t fight like cats! They are just bitchy, and they talk behind backs.  It’s more of a problem if you have friends in the corporate world, we don’t want to ruin friendships.

AkankshaWe need to broaden our mindsets. If she got there it’s because she is working hard enough. Be inspired! And go ahead, use that inspiration to work harder, if we keep blaming each other, it will never remain a healthy competition.

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Well said Akanksha! We think so, too!

ShubhangiIt isn’t easy to make it work! Practically, it happens! Jealousy is always present.

Rupali I feel the same! Man! I’m so bad!

Wow, that’s a long one, eh? By the way, the girl with the red bag got a brand new title by these girls of Chulbul Pandey!

We were then served with iced coffee, Frappe and hot cappuccino. Eyes loitered here and there and got back into the conversation. The sipping began.

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Marriage nowadays has become a choice instead of a necessity. 

NehaI think we all need support in life, we need someone who always stays with us. Someone who tells us that no matter what happens I’m there for you.

SonaliWe need emotional stability. To share sorrows and happiness because parents cannot always be with us, they have their lives, too.

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AkankshaSometimes we need someone when we feel that we are ready to settle down and be with one person for the rest of our lives. And it’s very difficult to spend our lives alone.

ShubhangiThe only dream of my parents is to get me married! I think I will make a wonderful homemaker. But yeah, before I get married, I’d like to work for a while.

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RupaliIf a girl thinks she can manage then I think she should be alone. No one deserves the right to judge her, no one knows her better than herself.

Akanksha Yes, but when our friend today is committed, all our friends are busy in their lives and we are alone, that feeling isn’t good, it can be depressing. So I feel that having a partner is very important to lead a healthy life.

JWB’S Priyanka – I agree with Rupali, if she can handle it, good enough! She deserves to live her life the way she wants.

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Rupali We all have our fantasies.

JWB’s Priyanka – Yeah and we might fulfil those fantasies at Jaipur Women Matrimony!

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Sacher cake was the cherry on top! It was the last in line, and we squeezed the food in our tummies to make room for it.

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Career versus relationships, the worst kind of dilemma. Which would you choose?

Sonali Career is more important! Relationships come and go! *laughs*

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Neha When I opted for MBA, my parents kept saying no, it took me a long time to convince them, similarly I’ll convince my partner, too, if necessary.

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Rupali – Relationships are all about feeling comfortable with the partner. Both things are equally important. It’s impossible to choose one.

Shubhangi I would choose relationship over my career.

AkankshaWhen you want to do something and when you love someone, we make compromises for each other and that’s the only way they can go together hand in hand. We can’t give up on one thing and regret for the rest of our lives that “what if”.

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Whoa, that’s a bunch of heavy stuff to talk over coffee. It was of course a pleasure getting together with 20 year olds to discuss the life of a woman! When we finished, I assigned them a tag each, from what I learnt from their personalities and zodiac signs. Shubhangi had already gotten the tag for a funny girl, Sonali was the diet freak, who barely ate, Neha was the shy one, Akanksha was an extrovert with some strong points, and Rupali is the politician of tomorrow!

The Lalit of course, made the activity more fun and yummy! The scrumptious delight and exquisite service were the essence of the activity.

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We will continue to have this activity every few days because feminist gos-sip is the way to go!

Happy International Coffee Day people!

Photo Credit – Nupur Agarwal

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