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Lavanya Bahuguna

Blogger-in-Chief

#LetsTalkSex: What Does It Mean To Lose Virginity

  • JWB Post
  •  June 12, 2015

 

Talking freely about sexuality isn’t an easy task, especially in our country where it is still considered a taboo. To spread awareness regarding many important issues related to sex, sexuality, gender identification, hormonal changes, sexual diseases, etc; we keep coming back with empowering articles.

In this one, Jaipur based Sexologist Dr. Saatiish Jhuntrraa, owner of Vivan Hospital, talks about virginity and young generation. In a country where virginity is considered a must for marriage, we have got youth who believe that loosing it is their choice. We call ourselves conservative, but hiding about one’s virginity is not going to help anyone. We all must accept that a girl of mature age is never going to say it’s her 1st time. Maybe, she is just afraid of telling that it’s not! And it is normal!

With huge sexual awareness around, it is normal for children to have growing opportunities of sexual encounters, especially the teens of cities. They don’t judge morality with virginity anymore. This conversation with Dr. Saatiish has helped us realize the importance of changing times and we hope, you get the message too. We are not advocating for ‘loosing virginity’, after all its up to one’s moral values hence the choices made. Nobody can force anyone to go his way. However, we definitely urge every individual to be responsible.

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About virginity: Having sex isn’t bad and being physically close to someone is absolutely an individual choice. Here, I am not even categorizing teenagers! But if it is done irresponsibly, it can affect your future. And by irresponsibility I mean not being aware about sexual diseases, pregnancy,  fertility, abortion issues, irregular menstruation cycle, etc.

Modern syndrome: Sadly, to lose virginity has become a trend among teenagers nowadays. Girls/boys who haven’t performed sex even once are considered outdated in their schools and among their peer groups.

Psychologically: Taking account of the kind of patients visiting me for counseling, I’ve noticed a kind of pressure they go through. On one side their parents are constantly keeping a check on them, and on the other side their friends encourage them to go in a totally different direction.

Why it has become easy for teenagers to lose virginity: One of the reasons can be easy abortion process. Few youngsters think it’s a game to have unsafe sex. Operations aren’t really expensive too. Moreover, the boyfriends are ready to pay half the money out of the courtesy of sharing responsibility. What they fail to realize are the health hazards associated with it.7

Consequences: Health-wise, it’s dangerous for the poor girl. Apart from the fear of STD (sexually transmitted diseases) in both the genders, the danger of not conceiving ever in females can be an issue too. The fertility can get damaged, seriously!

At home front too, things can go worse. Because our society is strict with sex-topics, children might learn to keep secrets from their parents rather than discussing about losing virginity with them. Eventually it might bring a tremendous change in the way kids behave with elders.

Suggestions: As a parent, don’t behave strictly with your child for every other thing. An open conversation about everything will help you gain his/her trust. I advice parents to keep calm if they get to know about any such happening in their child’s life. Children, these days, seek non-judgmental parents. If you become one, you can be their best counselor.

Girl & boys, I request you to act wisely and not take a decision that gives you pleasure for few moments. Consider the impact it MAY have in future. At that, let’s learn more about condoms. Let’s stay away from contraceptive pills which are VERY harmful. Boys, if you can be sexually active now, don’t demand a virgin wife after few years. Girls, your body is different from men and understanding it properly before having sex is a good idea. Okay?

And in case your friends encourage you, feel free to tell them what your thoughts are. They might make fun but that is temporary. Your health, body and soul are permanent, let’s not hurt them. Let’s take responsibility of our own life.

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