Mr. Wooferzone Tells You How To Have A Pet Friendly Diwali
- JWB Post
- November 6, 2015
Hello everyone, my name is Mr. Woofie Wooferzone and I’m here to talk to you on behalf of my rawrsponsibility towards my dawgs. I am adopted by a family of homo-sapiens.
They pet me when I bring them a broken shoe, but scold me when it’s their shoe that I chewed up. I always assist them in opening the gate when we have guests over. I sniff the guests to make sure that they are no threat to me and my humans. Then why do they reward me with Diwali shenanigans?
Homo Sapiens are strange. They bombard our Canis Lupus Familarias (that’s our scientific name, we’re smarter than you know) ears with loud noises instead of showering us with precious treats and rubber balls for Diwali.
The other day I was wagging my tail around my human, and suddenly about a few pawsteps from us, a Mrs. Burster burst. I hid behind my human but my crush Ms. Poodlequin got furious and almost jumped on to Mrs. Burster. I pretended to be courageous, but the sly smile that she wore told the story of her being aware that I was petrified.
Diwali time is a sad time for us pets. And only our humans can really help us.
Please keep us indoors where our tushy is protected from the peeves. Our ears are much more sensitive to noise than yours. How would you like it if we kept barking into your ears for as long as we pleased?
We would shut the doors, turn on some TV and snuggle up under the covers with a hot chocolate if we could, but I think it’s a good idea if you keep the doors shut.
The fireworks family freak us out. Stay by our side, or we will sulk in a corner, or maybe even fall sick. Please don’t pull us out from under the table where we feel safe during Diwali.
Please avoid inviting Mr. Bomberdoze and Mrs. Sparklie as much as you can, their aroma slithers into our noses, making us nauseous and giddy.
Would you like it if we spin around in circles and then fall with a thud? You’d have to quickly make a call to the hospital and get us admitted and then the horrific shenanigans will laugh from a distance!
I don’t usually like to speak for my friends, because I’m usually fighting with them but Mr. Whiskers, Mrs. Norris, Ms. Fiona and even Mr. Scooby doo ask for a little consideration towards them, and request you to keep checking up on their street friends, just because they live on the street doesn’t mean they are strong enough to fight the delirious crackler family. Did you know some evil humans tie a string of crackers to their tails and laugh watching them suffer?
I feel like tearing those humans apart. Once Ms. Poodlequin chased some boys down the street after they set Raju’s tail on fire. It’s not funny, humanoids.
My humans have prepared a safety kit for their children and me. They’ve also kept the vet’s number on speed dial so that if I get angry and feel like taking revenge against Mr. Crackler and Mrs. Burster, they can save me.
Why do we invite Mr. And Mrs. Crackler Burster for Diwali? Why can’t we boycott them altogether? They don’t like us.
We are sure we’re more important to you than the crackler family. Please protect us from them, we know you love us!
PS – You can see my pet Leo in the Cover image. *wink*