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See How Women-Fighters Scare The Hell Out Of This Confused Husband!

  • JWB Post
  •  September 9, 2015

 

Am I afraid of women? Hell no! Err… not sure actually. I won’t deny that women action figures may appear alluring sometimes. But however sexy they might look while fighting goons on the silver screen, it seems that the thought of getting kicked in the rear by a woman is not a pleasant one after all.

“God! Why did I have to enter into that stupid argument with Priya?”

It all had started a few days back, when I had seen the teaser of Gangaajal 2 and had exclaimed that how could the makers find Priyanka Chopra in the same league as that of Ajay Devgn who had starred in the first part of the film? Somehow my wife Priya, had heard it and had retorted immediately.

Priyanka Chopra -martial arts learnt during the course of her career. She first learnt Gatka – a sikh martial art, then she trained in street fighting for the movie Don and then trained to box for the biopic Mary Kom

Actress Priyanka Chopra – knows martial arts, Gatka – a sikh martial art, street fighting and boxing

“Why what’s wrong with women action heroes? At least they work sincerely to beat up the bad guys. Without any cheesy dialogue delivery and impossible stuff like uprooting handpumps! (Not to say unnecessary display of chest hair)

Ah…once again, logic. The best weapon in Priya’s arsenal that never fails to get under my skin!

“But at least it’s not as absurd as a woman beating up a man. I mean how could that be possible?”

I feel that offence is the best defence.

At that time Priya threw me what could be called as a pitiful glance but on that very day she Whatsapped me a link that made me eat my own words.

BTW nowadays I am coming off age as far as internet is concerned. Although for a short period of time I was a bit depressed because of the ban on porn. But then one of my friends showed me the tech wonder called a proxy server, which once again gave me unrestricted access across adult sites.

But today, the link that Priya had sent, took me to a page with an article titled 10 Famous Women Who Could Totally Kick Your Ass In A Fight, which caught my attention. Okay actually it were the pictures of a few incredibly good looking women that grabbed my eye.

Isha Sharvani knows kalaripayattu - the mother of all martial arts

Actress Isha Sharvani knows kalaripayattu – the mother of all martial arts

But soon, instead of the ‘hot’ pictures, it was the number of deadly martial art skills written under their names that made me sweat profusely.

What the hell is Kali-Eskrima-Silat? Well whatever it is but the sight of Lucy Liu standing with a samurai sword in her hand didn’t quite make me comfortable. And why does the word Silat so closely resembles ‘slit?’ Very suspicious indeed! (I uneasily scratch my throat at this point)

WOMEN-5

Actress Lucy Liu – an expert in the art of Kali-Eskrima-Silat

Apparently all the women featuring in this list are more than capable of beating the shit out of any guy messing with them.

So what is special about these ladies?

Karate, Taekwondo and a number of martial art techniques that apart from looking formidable were also extremely difficult to pronounce.

Sarah Michelle Gellar

Actress & Producer Sarah Michelle Gellar – 1st Dan black belt in Taekwondo

Whoa! It seems that some of these badass celebrities have also taken part in top level Karate bouts and proven their mettle in the ring.

I wonder how Priya lays her hands on such information. I quickly closed the page with an idea that if Priya asks me about it, I will say that I didn’t check out the link.

Isha Koppikar - expert in Taekwondo & Hapkido

Actress Isha Koppikar – expert in Taekwondo & Hapkido

But alas! Only if the matter had ended there!

A few days later…..

I am abruptly woken up from my sleep in early morning (It’s only 11AM) by the sounds of strange shouts coming from the garden of our house.

Annoyed, I decide to investigate the matter and look out of my window.

I can’t believe my own eyes! Around half a dozen women dressed in white jackets, my wife included, are throwing punches and kicks in the air. A trainer is also there (also a woman), standing and giving them instructions, while they are shouting in synchronisation.

Milla Jovovich -  3rd degree black belt in Taekwondo, trained in martial arts weapons, Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, karate and kickboxing.

Musician & Actress Milla Jovovich – 3rd degree black belt in Taekwondo, trained in martial arts weapons, Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, karate and kickboxing.

My god! What have I done?? My house has been turned into a martial art training centre for women. And what if Priya someday decides to test her newly acquired skills on me? Is she learning that silat or slit the throat, thing?

I blame myself. Why didn’t I just keep my mouth shut?

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