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Ayushi Agarwal

JWB Blogger

#SheSays: I Stopped My Teen Neighbor’s Rape. Should I Tell Her Parents?

  • JWB Post
  •  November 17, 2015

 

This is the story of a woman, who regularly watches her neighbor’s daughter indulge in bad habits and throw house parties whenever she’s home alone. The teen was on the verge of getting raped one night, when this woman saved her.

JWB’s latest section, “Censored“, features real women narrating real stories. Stories, which are usually censored by the society are given a platform. There is absolutely no room for judgement or condemnation. Women can open up about their personal issues, reach epiphanies, inspire women all around the world, and seek an expert advice. Read on, and get your dosage of empowerment.

#SheSays:

I know snooping is a bad habit. And I need to stop. But I can’t seem to ignore the shenanigans taking place two doors down.

I am a divorced, middle aged woman who works for a pharmaceutical company. I live in an apartment and my neighbor’s flat sits directly adjacent to mine. Therefore, it is important to keep the curtains drawn at all times, in order to ensure privacy.

The flat houses a family of three; a married couple and their 17 year old daughter ‘N’. They moved in a couple of months ago, and we regularly exchange pleasantries whenever we bump in the hallway, the elevator or the gardens.

Unable to sleep one night, I made some tea and proceeded towards the balcony to get some fresh air. I was quietly sipping on my tea, when I noticed N crouching in a corner smoking  a cigarette, out on her balcony. I wasn’t shocked, nor surprised. Every human being has the freedom to make his/her life choices, which included the choice to smoke. Although, she was a little young to smoke, I had no say in the matter.

Whenever I would go in the balcony late at night, I would  often find N smoking. One day a couple of her girl-friends were sitting out in the balcony and having beer. They quickly hid their bottles when they thought N’s mother was approaching. Children nowadays are undoubtedly more gutsy than we ever were in those good old days.

I was returning home one day, when N’s parents were getting into a cab with their suitcases. N bid them goodbye and skipped back to her apartment. She had the whole place to herself after all. I tried to avoid the balcony that night, but I couldn’t help myself. She was still a child, and I felt a need to look after her. She had gone all out this time. There were nearly 15-20 people in the apartment, music was blaring, people were smoking and an array of alcoholic drinks were being self-served in plastic glasses.

There was no harm in hosting a house party, and I hated myself for prying. I went back inside, only to return in the middle of the night. All of her friends had left, and N was making out with a boy on her bed. Clothes started coming off, and I quickly went back inside before N got stripped off her remaining shame and modesty.

This continued on for weeks. Every time N’s parents would leave her home alone, she would throw a house party and/or have sex with a random guy. Every time it was a different boy.

During one of her parties, N passed out on the rug when one of her guy friends started unbuttoning her jeans. There was no one else in the apartment, and her unconscious state was just making it easier for him to rape her. He threw her jeans on the floor, and I started panicking. I grabbed my phone and called on their landline. It kept ringing, but N did not wake up. I quickly rushed out to her apartment, and rang the bell  incessantly.

That woke up N. Half-naked and drunk she opened the door. The boy had somehow managed to vanish into thin air.

I hugged her and took her to my home. The next morning I told her everything, and to my surprise, she seemed indifferent. She promised to be careful the next time, but I somehow don’t believe her.

Should I tell her parents everything, and let them handle the situation? Or should I believe in her and stop looking after her?

 

Expert Says:

Urvashi-WarmanJWB invited Mrs. Urvashi Warman, the Principal of The Palace School to provide her expert opinion on the matter.

This is an extremely subjective scenario, where the personalities of the people involved play a major role. Firstly, I would advice you to counsel N, without being judgmental or indulging in moral policing. We don’t want her to create a barrier and shun you out. You need to make her understand that it is OK to enjoy life, but fun and freedom come along with responsibilities. She is responsible to herself, and her parents. She needs to realize the consequences of her actions.

After that, you need to judge her parent’s nature. If they are open-minded, you can have a friendly chat with them about safety and caution of their daughter. Make them aware of what might happen.

N is legally an adult, with a secret life. If you straight out rat her out to her parents, she might flat out deny your claims, rendering you completely powerless to change her life. Start out by counselling her, and if she still refuses to mend her ways, then inform the parents. There’s nothing more you can do.”

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