SINGLE: A BRAND NEW LABEL OF INDIA
- JWB Post
- February 8, 2014
What women expect from a marriage? In a country where majority of girls fear speaking their choices, I am lucky to write an article on ‘our’ (girls’) expectations from marriage. If a woman decides to marry, she obviously looks for love, security and commitment…just like men! So what’s wrong if a single woman takes ample time to find her Mr. Right?
I asked few of my girlfriends to know what their expectations are. And here is what they have to say :
Garima says: “Marriage to me is companionship to do things you earlier did by yourself.”
Meenal Khatri says: “My partner should help me grow in life.”
Richa Sharma says: “For me its trust and courage.”
Amen! But apart from these beautiful divine expectations, few are women who waste too much time (read forever) finding this Mr. Right giving (lame) excuses.
- “I am waiting for my Prince from that dream”
- “My stars are on a tough track for the next 5 years”
- “Oh, just this promotion so that I can prove myself”
- “I just can’t get over my past relationship(s)”
- “I want a Palace with an Ambani bank-balance. What is love?”
- “I am not beautiful” (really?)
Amidst all the sky-touching expectations, forecasts by psychics and low self-confidence; women unintentionally keep on taking age-leaps. And then you turn 23, 25, 27, and 30. Boom, get prepared for that haunting question!
Whatever the reason for this wait, while you are busy in your own world, dealing with your own complexities; the cruel world out there has already labeled you, especially in India. You are called names, old, not beautiful enough to get a match, lesbian, alleged of being stuck in an affair or even medically ill. These gossips lead to labeling of women that she is incomplete without a man, which is not true. Somewhere, women who have crossed this red line of age compel society to comment.
Why do you get depressed when you hear things like this? Why do you doubt your ability? Why do you think you have got wrinkles and hence can’t get married? Why do you think you are a wh***? Why do you question your choices? Why?
So what if you are 25+ and unmarried? Girl, don’t you feel young while friends of your age are carrying 2 kids in both their arms? Isn’t that feels awesome to enjoy money-jingle pockets while being single? Walk with confidence; be sure of your choices. You want to make a career, do it but with dignity. Don’t let any colleague’s gossip hamper your preference. Reply to that aunty from neighborhood with a smile next time she asks you about getting married. Assure you parents and don’t show signs of anxiety or hassled life, this will help them take the situation on a light note. Most important – become happy from within rather than seeking happiness in your outer demands. People label us and we carry them. Let’s not do this from today.
However, I recommend having a dialogue with yourself. If your marriage is getting delayed, find that reason within you that is stopping it to happen.
- ‘Am I afraid of being into a new relationship considering my past?’
- ‘Do I really think I am not beautiful or financially strong enough?’
- ‘Am I thinking about my parents considering they have no son?’
- ‘Am I afraid of speaking about my boyfriend from a different community?’
- ‘If I am 30+, is it already too old to get a good man?’
- ‘Do broken marriages of my friends haunt me?’
- ‘Am I too superstitious to believe in fortunes?’
Luckily, if you are not loaded with one of these causes then get set girl! Open the blank page of this new chapter. Pick up the pencil and start jotting down. Meanwhile when you turn a page, someone will come to borrow the pencil from you so that he can continue alongside you!
BTW, I am turning 26 this April. And trust me; life is beautiful every passing day. Of course I want to get hitched to my man. But, I know at right time, I will meet him! xoxo
By Lavanya Bahuguna,
Copywriter, Social Media Manager, Nutcrackers Creative Agency