The Worst Nightmare of a ‘Net Savvy’ Husband
- JWB Post
- December 11, 2014
Her: So, we have been chatting 4 three days now. Tell me a bit more about yourself. R u single??
Before my fingers reach the keyboard, out of habit, I quickly take a look around myself. Then I let out a sigh of relief as I remember the fact that Priya is currently at her parent’s house and I am all alone. Priya, my wife. I say the word ‘Alone’ loudly and relish the very sound of it. Then I quickly type my answer to the lady on the other side of my computer screen.
Me: Yes babe…single and ready 2 mingle!!
I had never thought that internet could be of so much of use to me. Earlier I believed that the only advantage of internet for me was the fast booking of train tickets, so that as soon as the thought of going to her parents crossed Priya’s mind, the tickets could be bought before she could change her mind. Actually to be fair, I sometimes get pissed off when Priya is involved in her online shopping spree. After all, how could a wife understand that what her husband goes through when she spends his hard earned money on fancy jewelry and dresses without even sparing a thought?
Her: Oh wow. I am intrigued 😉
Me: J and what about u?
But all that is history, and I am so sorry Internet that I ever got angry with you. It was one of my friends who told me about Facebook, and since then I haven’t looked back. Within a few days I created my profile (fake of course) and had become one of the countless players in the virtual world of online chatting. Could you believe it? It is for this addiction of chatting that I had missed three consecutive get-togethers with my friends where I heard later that I was sorely missed at the gambling table.
Her: It’s complicated dear.
Me: Maybe. I can make it easy for you.
At last, a place where I can flirt and chat with unknown women without the fear of my wife catching me red-handed. It’s not that the thought of adultery doesn’t cross my mind but, I never let the guilt take over the feeling of superiority that fills me when I picture myself as an irresistible playboy, well virtually. And why should I even feel the guilt? It’s not that I am actually indulging in an extra-marital affair. Well, to be frank I would, but unfortunately I haven’t quite amassed the courage to meet one of my ladies in the real world. What, you think this is creepy? You know the best part of it – you can get rid of any woman you are chatting with, unlike in real world. Lol.
Her: Yes dear, I hope that u will make it easier for me. Sigh.
However, an unpleasant thought crosses my mind. What if Priya does the same thing I am doing right now – chatting with strangers from opposite sex? One thing I know, I could barely keep my anger in check and even imagine myself beating up that stranger guy. After all, a married woman has no right to flirt with men over the internet, which is exclusively the right of only their husbands. If a woman ever does the same thing, it is outright adultery.
*Aha…a new message.
Her: Dear, I have a dilemma. Can u please offer me a solution?
Now whenever a woman speaks with you about her problems, it means she wants to involve you in her life. My answer is surprisingly fast.
Me: Of course my love, tell me all about it. I will solve it in an instant J
Her: It’s just that I am currently visiting my parents and my husband is using this opportunity to flirt with other women on the internet. I think this is adultery. Can u please help me decide when I return home shall I just divorce him or slow torture him to death?
Gulping I wanted to reply – ‘To be true, I think you two should talk. Maybe, he is not cheating, and is somewhere trying to fill the gap you both have in between.’ But before I could put these words onscreen, she changed her display picture. Wearing a low-cut body-hugging red short dress, with half her breasts in display; I couldn’t control but glued to the photo for few seconds. (tongue still wagging out) I wanted to see the glorious face of my internet-damsel-in-distress. WHAT???!!!!!!!
It was Priya. My Wife. What am I gonna do now…shall I delete my FB account. I can block her and delete all the history. Oh my god, my photo has my side face…should delete it asap. Clever woman, she checking on me like this. She will beat me to death and would take my life-earnings as alimony. Argh…what shall I do? Wait…but what if in the beginning she didn’t know it was her husband whom she had been chatting day and night. Is Priya cheating on me! No, no, no, no. No, my wife cannot do this to me. I have been a good husband throughout. Well not always. But hey! Damn you internet. I was right about you, you are of no good.
Her: Helloooooo….are you still online my bear <3
*Facebook account deactivated.*
By Deep Mukherjee,