#SheSays: I’m Plotting A Revenge For My Cheating Husband
- JWB Post
- October 19, 2015
“Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.”
This is a story of a married woman forced to live with her cheating husband. She is unable to walk away, since she is crippled by financial dependence and a lust for revenge. JWB’s latest campaign “Censored” features notoriously contentious stories revolving around taboo topics, which are generally suppressed by our society. Censored is a platform where women can open up about their personal issues, reach epiphanies, inspire women all around the world, and seek expert advice. Read on, and get your dosage of empowerment.
I was scared. I was hurt. I was lonely.
I’m in my late twenties, and I’m married to a man who is 15 years elder to me. I fell in love with this man in full consciousness, and I have no one to blame but myself.
Three years ago, we first bumped into each other at a common friend’s party. His ruggedly handsome looks sheathed an inquisitive mind, and his tongue danced with beautiful musings. He was emotionally mature, very secure in his skin, and he could charm the pants off of a woman. If Milind Soman and George Clooney had a love child, it would be him.
After blissfully dating for more than a year, we entered into holy matrimony. Not even a month had passed by, when I felt like he had been cheating on me. I broke into his phone and my suspicions were confirmed. Soon after this, I confronted him and not even a morsel of guilt or shame was evident on his face.
I asked him, why did he want to get married when he had no intention of giving me a traditional married life.
“I was pushing forty and I needed a wife. Societal shit, you know. When we met, I knew you would be a good homemaker. But, you need to understand that monogamy is not my thing. Never has been.”
It was nearly traumatized. Unable to walk out on everything, all I could manage was to move out from our bedroom.
Months passed by and nothing changed. I would squat behind my bedroom door,and try to peek through the crack. It felt like a dream and all I wanted was for him to come begging and apologizing. But instead of coming to my room for reconciliation, he would come whenever he felt like having sex. Devoid of any love or affection, I would give in and let him have me.
I know I should file for a divorce but I have no place to go. I don’t have a job, nor do I have the money to support myself. My parents are also not in favour of getting separated. Although, I am educated and capable of getting a job, I’m afraid of what others would think. I am severely dependent on him, but that is not the only reason I’m putting myself through this hell.
I’m scared. I’m scared to get a divorce and file for alimony. He is powerful and influential, and well, I’m nothing. I cannot drag his name through the mud, nor can I report him to the police.
I am compelled to stay with my cheating, philandering husband, because I need revenge and I need to be alive for that. I will avenge my love so silently that he will never come to know. He wants to get rid of me, now that I do not perform any of my duties as a ‘home-maker’, and that’s exactly what I won’t do.
I want revenge and I want him to suffer. I will stand silently beside him, but I will do everything in my power to make his life difficult and insufferable. I will drain his bank account dry, mess everything good in his life, and destroy his life in every way possible.
I am not going to be a damsel in distress anymore. Instead, I will take charge and make him beg for forgiveness. I have kept quiet and wept silently for almost a year now, but not anymore. After-all, revenge is a dish best served cold, and mine would be frigid.
JWB invited a renowned psychologist Dr. Anamika Papriwal, founder director of Psychological Counselling Center, Jaipur.
“Generally in cases relating to extra-marital affairs, the logical course of action is to calmly have a rational conversation and open up to each other. You can then either choose to work upon your shortcomings, or walk away. In this case, taking revenge can be viewed as a ‘tit-for-tat’ strategy, where you can come off as the bad guy, and not the victim. You should not abandon your rights as a wife, which include sharing the same room and socializing together. Instead of giving him greater freedom, its time to put psychological pressure on him, by becoming confident. The ultimate key of attaining confidence, is financial and mental independence, and not pity revenge.
You will automatically become bold, when you are not dependent on anyone, but yourself. You won’t have anything holding you back, once you start feeding yourself, and covering your own expenditures. Your husband will get a sudden realisation that you don’t need him anymore, which has the power to wound his ego beyond repair. You’ll be self-sufficient, busy, social and confident, which will ultimately make you happy. Happiness is the fundamental revenge, which will benefit you in the long run. Think about yourself first.”