In search of a photo studio – February 13, 6:30 PM

A quick look at my surroundings tells me that all the shops and houses are at least a century old and look all the same.

Even in this month of February, the suit that I am wearing (My tie knot looks like a hangman’s noose, a failed attempt at wearing one all by myself) has become wet from sweating, and I am now once again cursing my stupidity.

“Bhaisaab ye Sanam studio kaha Hai?” I ask a man chewing gutka by the roadside.

He chews for a few more seconds before finally spitting in the adjacent wall and then gives the answer to my question.

“Pata nahi Bhaisaab.”

God, why did I have to enter into the stupid bet with Priyal? (I beat my head)

Rewind- February 13, 11:30 AM

 

 

“Would you ever get any time to do any household chores, or Shikhar Dhawan will do it for us?”

I have never quite understood that why Priyal decides to ask such questions precisely at that time when I watch cricket matches.

“It’s Saturday yaar, where do you need to go, lingerie shopping?”

I eat my words the moment I utter them.

“Well, do I hear sarcasm darling? If I remember correctly, it wasn’t me, drooling over the mannequins at the store!

“You know, it’s Valentine’s Day tomorrow, don’t you ever get romantic?”

 

 

“Ah…Priyal, Valentine’s day is for teenagers, who exchange gifts and kisses, not for couples exposed to the grim realities of the marriage, 8 years after the ceremony.” (I turn off the TV, bracing up for the argument to follow)

“So, you think that there’s nothing fun that we can do on Valentine’s Day?”

“Well, you know chocolates and flowers sound really childish to me, and as far as kisses are concerned, we don’t need V-day for that! We do it on a normal day as well!”

 

 

As a result of my loud mouth, we ended up making the wager that at first sounded like a piece of cake for me to win.

“How about this, both you and I get different proposal pictures of ourselves clicked separately and see it tomorrow to decide who wins.”

“Excuse me, what? Proposal pictures? Heaven’s sake Priyal, we are already married!!”

 

 

“Why, is my dear husband afraid that he won’t be able to think of many ways to propose to me, the person he claimed to love at the time of marriage?” Priyal’s eyes have a haunting glint.

Well, frankly speaking, I had casually popped up the question of marriage to Priyal without any particular brouhaha over it. So I feel that I need to show Priyal that I can be quite romantic as well.

 

 

“Ok done. Tomorrow morning I will show you that what awesome pictures do I click and the different ways through which a man can propose to a woman,” upon hearing this, Priyal had smiled teasingly, that had infuriated me even more.

“I will show her my romantic side,” I make a pledge to myself.

Of friends and dowry- February 13, 2:30 PM

 

“Hey guys, just wanted to know that what are the best ways to propose?”

Within seconds of me sending this message to our WhatsApp group of frustrated husbands, the messages started flowing in.

Reply-1 “I think you need to kneel down on your knees. Saw that in a movie once.”

 

 

Reply 2- Err, not sure, actually mine was an arranged marriage and both me and my wife kinda knew that all our chitchats would eventually lead to shaadi. And then, before we were given each other’s phone numbers, our parents had already zeroed in on the dowry. So you see everything was already settled beforehand.

Reply 3- I had thought about surprising my fiancé with some proposal pictures and approached a photographer whom I knew back in the 90s. She was really happy to see these photos. You can ask this fellow.

Ok, this seems to be interesting.

The ‘photo shoot’- February 13, 7:30 PM

This was the reason that why I was strolling through a shady alley inside the Walled City, in search of one Rajesh, the owner of Sanam Studio and the guy who helped my friend some 18 years ago, to impress his wife-to-be.

By the time I located the shop, I had abused under my breath for some ten times for entering into this stupid bet.

At first look, the studio looks like a haunted house with a dim light bulb outside and 18 years later, the man, Rajesh now resembles Rajesh Khanna at his old age, with matching white beard and hair.

In the beginning, I wasn’t that convinced and once again blamed my stupidity, but it seems that Rajesh uncle is quite enthusiastic (It might be because of the fact that I am the only customer he has got since a long time).

And then, we started getting the pictures clicked.

 

God knows from where he had conjured two huge light stands (both of them rusted). A sliding screen was brought as the backdrop for pictures of a field of flowers which were once yellow but now have become whitish.

“Let’s make the DDLJ style proposal first,” says Rajesh uncle, thrusting a rusty (also dusty), violin in my hands.

As I was bending on one knee with my hands stretched and held the violin, I wasn’t quite sure that whether this is being a good idea.

But then, after DDLJ, we continued with Kuch Kuch Hota Hai, and after we had been done with Shah Rukh Khan films, our photoshoot moved on with other films.

 

 

So here was I, sometimes stretching my hand or at times blowing flying kisses in a room, that only had Rajesh uncle and me, working with a camera that seemed to be as ancient as him.

After spending almost two hours, I got out exasperated, with Rajesh uncle promising me that he will deliver the photos the next day.

Meeting Mr. Goatee – February 13, 9:30 PM

As I enter my house, a man, or rather a boy, with long hair and a goatee walks past me with a big bag slung over his head.

“What the hell is this guy doing in my house?” I wonder.

 

“Ah, my dear husband is back, hope you remember our bet,” says Priyal once she sees me.

“We will compare our photos tomorrow morning. BTW, why is your suit so dirty, if I call it a suit? It rather seems as some heinous crime done against fashion.”

“Priyal, who was that goatee guy?”

“Ah, he was the photographer who clicked my photos.”

What!! All this time when I was bending in the dusty floors with Rajesh uncle, whose breath smelled heavily of onions, my dear wifey was busy doing her photo shoot in our house itself, with Mr. Goatee???

“You better be ready to lose the bet tomorrow,” I mumble.

The Show- February 14, 11:00 AM

True to his words, Rajesh uncle had delivered the photographs and frankly, they were not that bad. I look quite a romantic hero in them.

 

 

But woah, what is this? What is Priyal doing with an LCD screen?

“What you took printouts of the photos, who does that anymore in this digital age?’ Priyal almost chokes on her laugh.

And thus, the show begins!

What is this????

 

 

The Lord of the Rings theme songs starts playing, and I see my wife, dressed as Gandalf, grinning albeit naughtily and below the photo, a sentence is written:

“All you have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us.”

So this is what, Priyal was up to with the goatee guy yesterday!!

Even I know that my ‘Shah Rukh Khan Act’ in the ‘white’ mustard field wouldn’t be able to hold a candle to this mind blowing photo.

And I confess, Priyal looks quite sexy as the female version of Gandalf.

What’s next?

Never in my wildest of my dreams, I could imagine my wife as Ygritte from Game of Thrones, asking me to marry her, but it seems that the goatee guy has made even that possible! (Wondering how I know about GOT? I had started watching the Hindi dubbed version but one day Priyal caught me red-handed, and since then she has made the point that we watch the show together in English)

My retro bending-on-my-knees act seems to be as useless as one of Rajesh uncle’s cameras, that breathed its last yesterday during our ‘photo shoot’.

 

 

And here, a guy with a goatee, half the age of my Rajesh Khanna’s namesake photographer has managed to make my wife look like characters from the superhit TV shows.

Jon Snow to my rescue! – February 14, 12:30 PM

 

So, as a result, by the time I finish watching the rest of the proposing photos of my wife, I know that I have been trumped and have lost the bet horribly.

“So, my dear husband, what about the bet?”

Hah.. I lose, yet again!

“I..I really liked the photos.”

“So what do I have to do, since I have lost the bet?”

“Well, I leave that to you. For your information, today is Valentine’s Day.”

I don’t how I get the idea, but my next words are…

“I do know some things; I know I love you. I know you love me. Let’s go to dinner tonight.”

Now, I didn’t know how I did it, but apparently once again, Jon Snow from GOT came to my rescue and with just a little tweaking with the quotes, I managed to come up with this dialogue.

And her reaction?

Priyal stares at me blankly then smiles: “Dinner tonight then.”

Well, I take my words back. Who says that V-Day is only for teenagers and not for married couples?

Photos: giphy.com