We all have that one person in the group who loves to make fun of others. Sure he is considered as a stud by the whole gang. But what about the person that is made fun of?

Anoma Pabuwal, an actor, shares with us the struggles that she had to go through as a child. Because of her skinny body type, people called her names and made her believe she was a loser. But this didn’t stop her from achieving what she always wanted to.

She strived to build her self-confidence through acting and transformed her aggression into a pathway for soulful performance. So let’s hear her story.

Tell us about the days you were bullied.

As a child, I was very skinny. People ought to call me names. This really broke me from inside. Every day I used to come home crying. Every party I went in, everywhere I went into a bully ready to make fun of me. It was really disturbing. Even after coming back home I used to keep on thinking about it. People called me a loser!

What was your way to fight bullies?

After having come from school, I used to read these comics called Archie; I was very fascinated with the characters. I would go to my room, think of myself to be a part of the comic and start enacting the characters. Sometimes I’d be Archie; sometimes, I’d be Betty, sometimes, Veronica and at times Jug-head. It helped me to forget my miseries at that time.

One stereotype that you would like to break about the bullies.

First of all the bully is not a stud! Bully is a person who demeans others; he is the one who makes fun of others and then it is celebrated.
One more misconception that people have is that a bully is always a He! There are female bullies as well! In my case, there was an overweight girl who used to bully me for being thin. Can you see the irony? *Laughs*

Did your friends support you?

One of the most irritating thing people used to say to me when I was depressed is, ‘’I know what you’re going through’’. This statement makes me furious. No! You don’t know what I am going through and you can’t. People never blame the bully; they always console the one who is being bullied. People take it as a joke. Yes! At one point it is a joke, the next time again a joke, third time, fourth time and so on… You then really start to question yourself. Like in my case, I used to think I was really a loser.

Did you ever try changing yourself under pressure?

Yes! I did some stupid things. Since I was very thin and people would body-shame me, I started eating a lot of junk food. From pizzas to burgers to cheesecakes, I ate everything. But it never helped me. Also, I used to wear layers and layers of clothes so as to look fit.

What was the moment when you bounced back?

Like I said, I used to enact the Archie characters. Keeping the same in mind, I went to Barry John Acting Studio to learn more about acting. There were two teachers, Niharika Singh Ma’am and Gaurav Puri sir who taught me the most important thing in my life, they said, ”Anoma! You have to let go of yourself, and for that, you have to love yourself. You have to accept who you are!” This was the greatest advice somebody has ever given to me.

How did you then take this advice into action?

As soon as I got the advice, I started living my life accordingly. I stopped eating the junk food; I stopped layering myself up. I got to know the fact that no matter how much I was eating or how many layers of clothes I was wearing I would stay like this – and nothing can change me because my metabolism is such. I started to live happily in my own skin then.  

What helped you build up your confidence as an actor?

Before going to Barry John Acting Studio, Delhi, I went to Lasalle College the of Arts, Singapore where I learned film-making. These two are the places that I owe my life to. There used to be many activities that transformed me into a better actor. There was this activity in which you had to open up about your past. The whole point of doing this activity was simply to make you face your past. Because people generally hide all their dark secrets and never refer to them. But here, we were made to fight with ourselves to eradicate all the hesitation and become confident as ever.

So do you feel confident now?         

Yes! I do. But I won’t deny the fact that those bad memory traces keep coming to me. While on the stage I sometimes get those voices back. Like people yelling at me, making fun of me, calling me a loser. But then I have to fight with them. I have to keep on reminding to the old me that I AM BETTER NOW! And then everything goes on smoothly.

What are your plans for future?

Having studied from two renowned institutes of acting, of course, I want to be an actor. I also want to groom myself as a filmmaker, so I am trying my hand at different things. Currently,  I am organizing a workshop at St. Xavier’s College Jaipur,  wherein I’ll not only be teaching acting and film-making but also, will be sharing my life story. This way I will give a bit of motivation to people, which I myself was deprived of. Also, I am currently working with on their upcoming project.

What message would you like to give to all the bullies in the world?

Ah! Just one thing, Beware! There are two kinds of effects that a bully has on a victim. One, the usual, the victim gets scared and does nothing in the life. Second, and the most dangerous, the victim takes bullying as a part of the life motivational classes. Instead of feeling insecure, he or she builds up self-confidence and uses it to be successful in life; and this is what I have done.

Beware!