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How far can you go for a man?

  • JWB Post
  •  July 30, 2014


Goddess Parvati’s love for Lord Shiva is something to swear by. Since today is Teej, I was reading their fascinating story on Google.

  • ‘Parvati did a rigorous fast for 108 years to prove her love and devotion for Shiva.’
  • ‘She was born 107 times before she was reborn as Parvati, and at her 108th birth she was granted the boon to be the wife of Shiva.’
  • ‘ Teej is celebrated to honor the devotion of Parvati, who is also known as ‘Teej Mata’ by women who seek her blessings for a happy married life and to find a good husband like Shiva.’

Parvati went beyond imagination to please Shiva. How far can women go in these modern times? I immediately messaged few girlfriends – How far can you go or have gone for your man? Can you fast for so many days in order to get him? Can you keep pursuing the man you want? Can you?

These girls are between 23-26 years old. The young generation.

Payal (married for about 25 days) – “Anything. Even if that mean stop eating my favorite food or leaving all the comfort. After all, the sacrifices I would make are for my own benefit. Right?”

Her answer sounds like a good agreement. No doubt, she got married to her man of the dream of 10 years!

Roshni (married for 6 months) – “I have been fasting for last 3 saawans and this is the 4th one. I believe in the power of these rituals. Well, they have at least worked for me!”

True that! Though an arranged marriage, Roshni is married to a gem of a person.

Women are ready to give up a little more than they can. In India, fasting is a kind of devotion towards something or someone we love. It is considered a way to contribute for a better relationship and a beautiful living. As per most Hindu sacred books like the Bhagwad Gita and others, fasting helps create an attunement with the absolute by establishing a harmonious relationship between the body and the soul. Let’s also add, it is good for fitness and to realize what impact hunger can have on human being. May be, we become more helping towards the needy lot.

But the worry starts when we go beyond ‘the Line’. Go beyond it and you start ignoring the self. There is a fragile difference – devoting yourself to the husband OR forgetting yourself, vanishing your personality and dissolving as a woman.

I see some families forcing their daughters-in-law into fasting during some kind of festival about which she has never even heard. Here internet comes to rescue giving tips ‘how not to starve during a fast’.

So the question was – How far can she go for her man? Leave fast, talk about something tougher. When a woman is desperate, she can go miles to get her man. This becomes the frightening situation. Hence, here she is ready to lose her dignity. She accepts all the bad names this man may call her by. She takes the abuse society throws at her. She bears all of it just to get him.

Every woman has Parvati in her. Parvati was determined. Parvati was fearless. So are we. Don’t cross the line we are talking about. Maintain who you are. Don’t make yourself dependent on outer things and feel weak.

PS – ‘Fasting’ was just a metaphor in this article.

And celebrate Teej as the victory of a wife’s love and devotion towards her husband – an important factor in Hinduism.

Happy Teej!

By Lavanya Bahuguna,

JWB Blogger

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