The 22-year-old Aditi Rathore will soon fly off to Paris to pursue Masters in International Management from one of the top management schools in the world, ESSEC Business School.

Her aspirations were deemed unfit for a “girl” by her distant relatives, neighbors, family friends, etc. She opened up to JWB about her family and her own struggle to shun the standards of being a “well behaved and cultured Rajput girl.”

She said,

“Our previous home was in Khatipura where many Rajput families reside and most of them are conservative in the sense of what their daughters, wives, and sisters should do and what they shouldn’t be allowed to do.”

“In our community, it is very common for a girl to get engaged or married at a very young age like 19-20,” she added.

She recalled her school days when fellow Rajput girls succumbed to these pressures which ultimately affected their academics.

“I know so many Rajput girls in my school who were least bothered about the studies and would fail or nearly pass the term. As I grew up, I understood the real reason behind it. It wasn’t that they weren’t capable, but they didn’t have any stimuli to study and do well in academics because their family had instilled in them that they’ll be married soon and then these studies won’t matter.”

“This attitude is disheartening the girls and their families need to realize that it’s the education that will help a woman to make a sustainable career ensuring economic independence. And, self-dependency gives a girl courage to walk out of bad relationship and marriage which is so important to lead a happy life,” explained Aditi.

However, Aditi feels blessed to have parents who support her ambitions.

“My father is my biggest support system and strength.  My entire family has supported me throughout and have never tried to fit me in the “standards” of a Rajput family girl. They understand that every life and every person is different with their own dreams and ambitions.”

“So, don’t they face aversion and taunts from the society as, in most cases, it’s the family who gets an earful for “allowing” their girls to be “different”?” I asked.

“Oh, all the time! Wherever they go, some or the other will taunt:

“Beti ki shaadi nahi karni kya jo itna padha rahe ho.”

“Aapne bahut zyada azaadi de rakhi hai apni beti k, baad me pachataoge.”

“Haath se nikal gayi hai aur nikal jayegi, sambhal jaao.”

Etcetera.” 

“In fact, my father recently kept a Prasadi for celebrating my acceptance for the course at ESSEC. That time, too, some people were disapproving my family’s stand for me rather embracing my success. And, if, instead of me, there was my brother who would be going for higher studies in Paris, they all would rejoice and say, “Arey waah! Aapka beta foreign jaa raha hai padhne.””

“I believe, a patriarchal society wants men to be more educated and to earn more than their wives, due to a sense of superiority.”

Of course, there are weak moments, too, and here’s how the “brutally honest” Aditi handles it.

“Yes, my family also sometimes goes into the mode of “Society kya kahegi,” “Log kya sochege,” and all. But, my younger sister and I have always made it a point that we share everything with our parents, hold discussions, and more. Trust me, talking and discussing with your parents about everything helps immensely and bridges the “age gap” as they become your BFFs,” smiled Aditi.

Wow! *engraving that thought in my mind*

But, Aditi also admits that there’s a lot more to be done and still her independence has some conditions apply.

“The pressure to set the “right example for my two younger siblings is still there. I am a little bound by the fact that if my parents have gone out of their way to fulfill my desires, I have to maintain the family’s shame and honour. “Kuch galat nahi karna hai.” But, the problem is that every person’s notion of what is right and what is wrong is so different that if you try to make everyone happy, it’s impossible.”

“I want to break all stereotypes and set an example for my whole community that, give your girl some wings and a little support and see where she can reach.”

And her message for all the girls is worth noting:

“Don’t let things be as they are. Don’t be scared of being who you are because of the restrictions of your caste, community, or religion. I know it’s difficult, but it’s worth it. And, involve your parents and make them understand. It’s the teamwork that shall help you to fulfill your dreams. And, know that they will support because every parent wants their children to be happy.”

Aditi concluded by saying:

“My current goal is to go to Harvard and later get featured in Forbes 30. I dare to dream about it irrespective of it being a too farfetched or it not being the “supposed to” goal for a girl. And, I know I will achieve it because I’ll make it happen.”