Saloni Jain
JWB Intern
Bomena – A Bhutanese Culture That Leaves Women Pregnant, Abandoned, And Heartbroken
- JWB Post
- June 3, 2016
In central and eastern parts of rural Bhutan, there exists a culture known as ‘Bomena’. or ‘night hunting. What does night hunting mean? It surely doesn’t mean hunting of animals at night!
‘Bomena’ or ‘night hunting’ and involves courting a girl. This custom gives boy a right to stealthily enter a girl’s house at night for courtship or coitus with or without prior consultation.
Dorji Penjore, a researcher at Centre for Bhutan Studies and GNH Research, and author of Love, Courtship and Marriage In Rural Bhutan, said “It is an institution through which young people find their partners and get married… Ideally, the process culminates in the morning, with what is locally called jai da jong (meaning ‘coming to the surface’), when the boy is found on the girl’s bed.”
Although the girl has the right to reject the guy’s proposal and the guy then has to leave, cases of forced sex or rapes have happened. Maybe that’s why some fathers keep a wooden stick to protect their daughters.
This custom is the reason for an ongoing debate that whether it is bad for society or not. An anonymous Indian in Bhutan said, “There is so much migration to the towns, that the villages hardly have any men left.” According to him, the custom is used by these now city-based men to lure unsuspecting village women with false promises. “The women often become easy prey. And end up abandoned and destitute more often than not.”
While the term ‘Bomena’ doesn’t exactly translate to the words ‘night’ and ‘hunting,’ it’s direct translation is ‘prowling for girls,’ which is even more harrowing. The act is totally consensual but Chimi Wangmo, former director of Renew, an NGO that works towards empowering and rehabilitating anguished women across Bhutan, noted, “Consent is a tricky thin line — the tricky part is knowing how the girl consents. What are the circumstances? Often she gives in hoping for a new life, but like in the Hindi films, she is left pregnant, abandoned, and heartbroken.”
Yes, that is the case most of the times. Men from urban areas visit rural areas to spend a night with women and promise to marry them. But, they never return and leave them pregnant. And as a result, many children are born out of wedlocks and grow up without fathers.
This article first appeared here.
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