We are constantly, with all our might, talking and marching on the streets to raise awareness about girl education. 

“Let our girls go to school,” “Let the girls become financially independent.” (Sadly, someone has to ‘let’ it happen)

Guess what! Our godly intentions are resounding in their hearts, and slowly, such parents have begun sending their little girls, wearing small braids, to school. However, we still have a long way to go.

I will tell you about a friend who belongs to a small yet prominent community of Jaipur. Extremely educated, this girl lived in Delhi and was earning a handsome salary of 75k. A whopping 75,000! Visiting her on weekends was so much fun. Oh, I remember the parties she would throw for us!

Two years ago, when she hit 24, she was called to Jaipur and an arranged marriage set up was ‘arranged’ for her. For a then 26-year-old me, it was crazy seeing her wear that huge diamond on the delicate finger. Sparkling stone worth many sweet mothers of Lords! She would often tell her friends how handsome he looked in that printed blue floral shirt and thick beard. TBH, my Jiju (brother-in-law) is hotter than yours.

Sadly, he has a bad habit. Let me rephrase that. It’s not him; it’s what he’s been taught. I do not like the way he treats my girlfriend sometimes. No, it’s not the case of marital harassment but the code of conduct. His horrible code of conduct towards her. Whenever all of us, the friends, meet over dinners discussing logical/illogical issues, and God forbid, if she utters her opinion, her husband is the first one to shut her up. He either laughs it off or says, “Arey madam aapko kya pata iss baare mein.” (Hey madam, what do you know about this).

The other day I happened to ask her why she isn’t re-starting her career in Jaipur. Before she could say anything, he answered, “Where is the need to do a job when she is the owner of a well to do business? Honey, if you want to keep yourself busy, I suggest you come to our office on the weekends and look after the work. Let’s take it slowly, what do you think? I don’t want you to ignore our home amidst all this. Also, it’s only you who accompanies my mom.”

I smelled injustice in his words. After all those degrees and nurturing intellectual brains, this poor woman has absolutely no say (even when it comes to taking her life decisions).

I have seen her not react; I don’t think she even realizes if this is happening at all. I am not alone who thinks that something is wrong with him. Our other mutual friends, too, have noticed his consistent look-down behavior for her.

She had to give up her job since the boy’s business is set up in our city. She never demanded to stay in Delhi and continue working. In her mind, she knew that living where the husband lives is the only choice most of the girls get to make.

I don’t hate this guy. Having a good sense of humor, I think he’s a great company. He’s well-educated, and more often than not, politically correct. He’s the one I turn to, during a midnight crisis.

However, this his behavior towards his wife is a turn off for me. But then, if he’s not to be blamed, who is?

He probably grew up watching his mother being treated that way, and felt it to be completely normal. Maybe, his mother is okay with it too, well, then again, so is my friend, isn’t she?

The problem here lies in the upbringing of my dearest jijusa. Do you think things would’ve been different if his mother had allowed him to step inside the kitchen, or if his parents had not set gender specific roles for themselves? Imagine what it would look like if they participated in healthy and eventful conversations over a cup of tea?

Maybe, things would’ve been different.