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Mansi Khandelwal

JWB Blogger

Sapna Tells JWB, “Even After Facing Domestic Violence, I Wish To Reconcile”

  • JWB Post
  •  October 28, 2016


A young woman Sapna Agarwal has been sitting on a hunger strike for the last three days after she was denied entrance to her house. JWB couldn’t just sit idle, and so our team went to extend a helping hand to her.

Having reached Durgapura, where Sapna lives with her mother-in-law and husband, we saw the tight security out of the house. In our urge to help her come out of this misery, we engaged in the emotional conversation.

Sapna was sitting outside her house on a hunger strike for the last three days

Sapna who is 23 years old, has been married for ten months and has a one-month-old daughter. She told us, “On 21st June my husband asked me to go to my parents’ house for few days. I happily went, without having a hint of what’s going to follow. After ten days I called him to ask if he was coming to take me home and he clearly refused. He said I should have completely forgot about him or about returning to his home. After all this, my parents intervened and came to Jaipur to meet my in-laws. None of the members of my husband’s family met my parents or answered their calls.”

“Even after my daughter was born on 12th September, they did not come to see her because she was a ‘girl.’ They switched off their phones and never replied. After having struggled for over four months, I went to the Women Police station to file a report for counseling. My husband and I have undergone counseling twice, but he has never shown any positive response. Though, after that counseling my husband got scared thinking I would file a FIR, so he had sent me a notice saying that he wanted to reconcile with me and I could return to his house in a week’s time.”

“I was glad to hear that. I returned to his house three days back with my daughter. When I reached here, I kept ringing the bell, but no one opened. My mother-in-law came out to the balcony and started blaming me for giving birth to a girl. I couldn’t believe my ears. All her life she had been taunting me for not having brought anything to the house when I was married. My parents went out of their way to fulfill all the demands made by my in-laws, still, they are never satisfied.”

“After she had refused to open the door, I dialed 100, and both my husband and I were taken to the police station. After having undergone counseling for the third time, my husband Shailesh Agarwal was arrested, and I was sent home.”

“I returned home and saw that the house was locked, and my mother-in-law had run away. My father-in-law who works in Udaipur came to Jaipur two days back, but as of now, he has been absconding. My husband is in police custody and is being counseled.”

After hearing her pain, we couldn’t take it anymore and thus, asked her why hadn’t there been a FIR filed even after the domestic violence she had endured in the past? To this, she replied, “I wish to stay in this house with my daughter and my in-laws happily. Every one commits mistake, and I am ready to forgive them if they can peacefully live in this house. This is why I haven’t filed a FIR yet.”

“I am waiting until tomorrow because I am hopeful that my husband will understand and return home,” she added.

Quietly listening to her, we felt really sad and angry at the same time for her situation. With Diwali being just round the corner, all we hear is ‘Betiya ghar ki laxmi hoti hai.’ (‘Daughters bring prosperity to the house’), and then we have families like these!

But we decided to keep calm and after having heard her completely we realized how scared she was to question the patriarchal system!

Belonging to a very small city in Alwar district, we could sense how fearful she was to take the decision of leaving her husband and returning to her parents. Being the only sister of five brothers, is it the lack of support that stops her or her faith in the institution of marriage?

She said to us that she didn’t want to bring dishonor to her family.

We badly wish and hope Sapna lives the life she dreams of, and her daughter grows in a safe and happy environment. Having pursued BA, BEd, and MA, we gave her confidence in supporting her with a job and helping her to stand on her own. We exchanged numbers and promised to check on her every second day to supervise the situation.

We will be there for her anytime she needs help.

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