Ah 20s! It is that time of your  life when you start feeling an inordinate amount of pressure to find your career path, tread upon it until your feet start to bleed, and mint money like there’s no tomorrow. It is also the time when you meet a plethora of your supposed “soulmates”, in the form of boyfriends or girlfriends who eventually cease to exist. 20s also give you the courage to walk away from something/someone that doesn’t make you happy anymore.

Your mind and your heart get stretched into a different million directions. There is so much pressure to make something of yourself, become independent, settle down, have a thousand stupid babies, and you even gotta squash those spiders on your own. Shit just got real, bro.

Yes, 20s can be nerve-wracking in the most literal sense.

So, here are 20 Reminders That Prove It’s Okay To Be Directionless In Your 20s:

1. Stop hyperventilating about the uncertainties of life. You’re supposed to be clueless. 

You will not have a stable friendship, relationship or a job. Stop questioning yourself every time you break up with someone. Embrace your uncertainties and let life happen to you.

2. While you forgive everyone else, learn to forgive yourself too.

You forgave your ex, that lady on the metro who stepped on your feet, and that nosy neighbor who keeps reminding you you’re fat. But when it comes to you, why do you turn so cruel? Learn to forgive yourself.

3. Spend less time on your phone.

There is a life beyond WhatsApp, Twitter and Instagram. You need to remind yourself of that. You might just cut down on some mental anxieties. The guy who didn’t call you back even when he said he would? Spare yourself, please? You’re a lot more than the guy or girl who didn’t call back.

4. Stop ‘stretching’ your breakup.

When everything is done and dusted, stop getting into that vicious cycle of ‘stalking’. There is a reason those people don’t belong in your present. You really don’t need to know about their life. A healthy friendship is good but only if it doesn’t make you mentally unstable.

5. Go on solo coffee-dates!

Once in a while, that coffee worth 500 bucks (and a blueberry muffin) won’t hurt much. Take a notepad and your ear-phones and you’ll know solo coffee dates are the best outings you’ll ever have!

6. Be kind to yourself even when the world isn’t.

The world around you will comment on your weight, your haircut, your sensitivity, your choices or maybe having a life. Get over it! You’re much more than their judgments. Look in the mirror and love yourself. Be imperfect and flawed.

7. It’s okay to make mistakes in relationships.

There will be a time when you realise that your blunder has damaged a relationship. It’s okay. Relax. No one has a perfect life. And people who want to stick around will always find enough reasons. For all the good things you did, if they still find one reason to show their back, open the door and let them make a graceful exit. Do that for yourself, if no one else.

8. Use the word ‘no’ more often.

Saying ‘no’ is a necessity. If you don’t want something, say ‘no’. Say ‘no’ to anything that affects your mental peace. Even if a ‘no’ hurts the other person, it’ll keep you peaceful in the long run. Totally worth it, isn’t it?

9. ‘Grieving’ is okay. If a loss is shattering you, don’t force yourself to be okay.

Grief is inevitable. If you lose something or someone who was dear to you, there will be pain. All hell will break loose, but then, life is supposed to be like that. Take your time off and grieve.

10. Arguments with your parents will turn worse with age but all this will just improve your equation with them.

11. Losing friends is completely human.

You did all you could, right? If the other person is hell bent on exiting your life, let them go. You can’t hold on to someone who isn’t willing to give you another chance.

12. Being  jealous is fine, but learn to turn it into motivation.

Someone will be prettier, thinner, richer or kinder than you and it’s completely okay. Being jealous of someone is completely okay but remember that you should compete with no one but yourself. Always remember that you’re a ‘work in progress’ and let someone else who is better than you be a reminder that you too can achieve more.

13. Don’t fancy the idea of forever.

We change every single day. You might not order choco-chip ice-cream everyday because sometimes you will crave for butter-scotch. When your choices aren’t permanent, how can someone else be? You will fall in and out of love and after some major heartbreaks you’ll realise that ‘Pyaar ek hi baar hota hai’ is a bullshit concept. You will stumble upon a few wrong ones to land up with the perfect one who will make you feel less cynical about the concept of forever!

14. Be cynical about life, love and most importantly, people.

There is a difference between being a pessimist and being cynical. Have your own doubts about people. Even when they say the most perfect things at the most perfect time, don’t take the plunge too soon. Be doubtful and believe in what they do rather than what they say!

15. Loving recklessly and wearing your heart on your sleeve is completely okay.

When your best friend scolds you because you trusted a guy too soon, don’t be offended. Even when people close to you want your good, learn to listen to your instincts first. You don’t plan and fall in love. Be careless, and be reckless. Love hurts, it hurts all the time.

16. Travel often. If possible, once a year, travel solo.

I know group trips are fun and all but you’ll take the best trip of your life alone. Make a plan and visit at least one new place every year. Life teaches you everything but then the best lessons and experiences will always come from these trips. Travel more often. Cut down on your online shopping expense for two months and save?

17. Stop the ‘soul-mate’ hunting NOW.

The concept of soul-mates is perfect for an Aditya Chopra film but when it comes to reality, not so much. Stop ‘soul-mate’ hunting now! Stop judging everyone from the prism of your ‘soul-mate’. Things often fall in place when they’re meant to. Embrace ambiguity and let destiny and god decide.

18. Stop pushing the right people away because they’re different.

From your friends to the guy you started falling for, stop pushing people away because they fail to tick off the blocks on your check-list. We are not here to look for our ‘clones’. People will be different. If they show you their honest side, stop thwarting them for it. If you have pledged yourself to not change, at least let them be themselves?

19. Feeling ‘under-confident’ and ‘broken’ is completely normal.

Everyday won’t be a perfect day. There will be days when situations will make you feel less confident. There will be days when people will hurt you when you’ll least expect it. IT’S OKAY. You can’t hug yourself but you can always be kind enough to feel everything you want to. The only way to get over a feeling is to get into it. Feel and forget. There is a reason why you have a soul and heart.

20. Tiny little moments will always matter more than your planned adventures in life.

Feelings are temporary. If a friend wants to take you out for a coffee, go for it! Stop with the need to plan everything.

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